The league’s final boss. While everyone else is out here collecting moral victories and participation trophies, Sean just keeps winning actual championships. Five of them. 2004, 2008, 2015, 2020, 2024. It’s not a streak — it’s a recurring nightmare for the rest of the league.

Career record: 164-129. Best winning percentage among the long-timers, most career wins, most career points scored, and more playoff appearances than should be legal. He’s made 14 trips to the postseason and somehow still finds new ways to hoist the trophy every few years just when people start to forget.

He’s capable of putting up 180 points in a week and once beat a guy by nearly 116. He’s also capable of the occasional “what year is it?” season that somehow still ends with him in the mix. The man doesn’t rebuild. He just reloads and waits for the calendar to hit a year that ends in a championship.

Everyone else is playing fantasy football. Sean is playing a different sport that just happens to use the same app. The rest of the league is simply living in his world.