The league’s resident roulette wheel. John Ryan doesn’t do gradual improvement or slow declines. He does full system resets. One season he’s going 12-2 and looking like a title favorite. The next he’s going 2-12 and making everyone wonder if he accidentally drafted a team from a different league.

Career record: 84-103. Below .500 overall, but the average is meaningless when the range runs from championship-caliber to historically bad. He’s made four playoff appearances, collected one title and one third-place finish, and generally treated the standings like a suggestion rather than a destination.

When the offense hits, it hits — see the 159-point explosion during that magical 2023 run. When it doesn’t, he’s capable of the kind of 31-point performance that makes the rest of the league collectively wince. There’s very little middle ground in the John Ryan experience.

He’s been around since 2012 and still somehow feels like a new variable every single year. The only thing you can predict is that you can’t predict him. In a league full of known quantities, John Ryan remains the annual plot twist.