A true Football Guru original… with a multi-year sabbatical. Keith played the inaugural 2004 season, disappeared for six years, then casually strolled back in 2011 like nothing happened. He’s been here ever since, quietly assembling one of the most balanced (and slightly cursed) résumés in league history.

Career record: 107-107-1. That’s not a moral victory — that’s a mathematical middle finger. Exactly .500 after more than 200 games. He has seven playoff appearances to his name and exactly one third-place trophy to show for them. Consistency, thy name is Keith.

Notable achievements include thoroughly owning Jordan (16-6 head-to-head), posting a very respectable 154-point high, and, most famously, authoring the lowest combined score in league history when he somehow beat John 10–2 in 2025. Ten points. And he still won. That’s not fantasy football — that’s performance art.

Keith doesn’t dominate. He doesn’t collapse. He just… exists at .500 and occasionally reminds everyone that the scoreboard can go lower than you thought possible. A true professional.